So, my friend Adam, who was my best friend throughout high school and long after wards, who moved to Washington to live near me, who was like a brother to me for many years, and whose family treated me like I was blood, was found dead Monday morning due to self inflicted gunshot wounds. I haven't spoken to him in 5 years, after we had a falling out and lost contact, but this news really rocked my world.
It's weird. His death hasn't really upset me, it's more the fact that everyone who moved to Washington because of me has died in the last year. I wonder if they hadn't moved, would they still be alive today? Or, would things have progressed in the same ways? Do we really die "in our time"? Is this thought process selfish? Self absorbed? Either way, Adam has left the building.
Now, I'm just left wondering. Why did he do it? Was his life in Washington so bad that he felt this was his only way out? Did his family or friends see this coming, see any signs?
Adam could really be an asshole. It's true, and he would have admitted it. He was blunt, honest, and kind of a dick. But he was also one of the most loyal and generous people I have ever known. He tried to hide it, but he was also very caring and loving with his friends. He loved his friends and family almost to a fault sometimes. He will be very missed.
The one good thing to come out of all of this is that I have somewhat reconnected with good friends I haven't seen in years. People I still care about but just haven't had a reason to contact, until now. They are asking the same questions. And nobody has any answers. But at least we have each other again.
Rest in Peace Adam.